AAAAAHHHH!!!

So it's the morning of Dec. 9, 2010, and I JUST FOUND OUT THAT NICH AND I ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!! I am still in complete and utter shock and haven't told anyone yet :) Strangely, I knew that I was pregnant before I even took the test.  Over the past couple of weeks, I've felt like a.) I'm never alone b.) there is a fist gripping my uterus, and c.) all I want to eat for breakfast is Chilli Cheese Fritos (Don't judge me, but I went out and bought a bag this morning before taking the ept :) )

God has also been giving me some pretty big hints that He's been at work in my body. When I first started to suspect that I might be pregnant, I began praying that God would take care of the baby and would help me to control my blood glucose levels so that our child would have the best chance possible of avoiding birth defects. Well, my BG levels have been near perfect for the past few weeks, which NEVER happens for me. My average is 108 mg/dL, the lowest it has been since my diagnosis in 2007.  Also, when I first opened the Bible to study and pray about my suspicions, I flipped straight to Psalm 139 and read this:

¹ You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.
 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

As I read that psalm, I had an overwhelming sense of peace, knowing that God is in control. It boggles my mind to know that He is using me to create a little person as I sit and type this, a person who He already loves and for whom He has ordained an entire life! I also love the image of God knitting us together. I get excited when I knit something as trivial as a hat or a pair of mittens. I can't imagine how God must feel when his finished product is a human being!

I have some really cute ideas for how to "let people in" on our big news. Obviously, I still need to tell my husband that he's going to be a father before I can get too excited about my ideas for how to tell our families and friends. I actually started working on ideas for how to tell Nich he was going to be a parent a couple of weeks ago, right after God more or less confirmed that we had a baby on the way. Here's my plan... I had a onesie custom made online... and it looks like this:

Nich has always dreamed of paying soccer with his kids, so I think this little gift just might elicit some tears :) I'm going to make his favorite dinner and wrap the the onesie up with my positive pregnancy tests (I've taken three at this point.....:)) I'll tell him it's an early anniversary gift (our anni is in 2 weeks) and wait to see his expression when things click for him.... I CAN'T WAIT!!!! ok, more to come later.......back to prepping for finals and periodically freaking out about motherhood......;)